Apartment Poetry Quarterly

10A              10B              10C              10D              10E              10F


10E Nathaniel Rosenthalis



I find you in creep across
the embankment stop alone cutting snow open
the road with my small red Honda how
blinking the high beams stop shall signal
filling up my tires in Keokuk
are you travelling far stop yes
stop how the sky that day
how yes it was stop no
I was prismodic in the window the blue
was a blank stop feeling stop routing
photo with the number up how I almost saw
or imagined seeing on I80 a deer
and its companion in grey cartwheel
down the hill stop one of them
into the right lane stop my well-timed swerve
renewing me the rearview spire
in my windshield transferred
the deer off the silver Prius hood
I knew what to look for when I saw it
without having to exit stop to
re-enter the car in order not to have caused
I know the gesture how the deer
echoed off the hood and ran the lanes
dizzy like soap circling the stop
of a tub because stop before
you stop I lay on the bathroom floor
all night could not throw up
I put the blood back in the embankment
ran the animal backwards stop
forwards in Keokuk stop in the windshield
transferred the deer a bigger particle than
I knew what I was looking for I saw
the tiny cuts of headlight headlight
lane pronouncing the animal
dead stop away stop
I can be a beast in any direction I say
when the sun came at you like that
it made a prism a little silver
lecture something ceded squared
how the car is like the porch of a house
a place to live where in every iteration the
smoke the eyes of the head run
differently, what coming up next
to this silver feeling stop I
prayed to be taken
by car to the next day stop the sky
was a near carrier and I
was made of smoke stop the sun
was a little prism a strong-jawed
afternoon is this what it is to swing
your feet is this what
it is to run out to the road the sky
is a thinking stop
feeling stop good use of matter I
saw you on tenth on ninth
on I80 I saw you run and
saw you collide, I saw your breath
a beach ball a silver tunnel I
drove and kept at it I could not
be carried this is just a resting point


it was dif
ficult to val
ue spe
aking .

it was a g
ood d
ream bec
ause no one w
as al
lowed to disa   gr
ee with me .

it was a go
od walk
 , for fun , throu
gh the mall in th
e midd
le of the
air at nigh
t .

i he
ld a bas
eb all ba
t .

i never m ea
nt to u
se it .

everyone says su
ffer by what th
e fog could
do to you .

the ques
tion bei
ng if you’re qu
iet why sh
ut up .

come up ro
ses in a ro

om i co
uld not get ou
t th      e walls.

ir pale ribb
ons of lig
ht         frow
ned .

i did not fr      
own on th
e bed  be
side you .

i waited till the ne
xt morni
ng .

when i frown
ed it was lik
e a drum beat do
wn on the top of m
y head with the
force of
cylinders .

everything slid
ing e
very which
way . ever
ything nee
ding to be baffled
by som
ing . my own

skin going de
ep down in
side m

e with velcr
o and nerv
es .

the tast
e of the counte
rtop fresh abo
ve my lips .

where my hea
d went down
in sharp lit
tle crum

bs. wher
e i though
t i hear
d wat
er . wher

e i waite
d act     ually be
side you i
n the apa

where you pus
hed m
y head dow
n on the linol
ium coun
ter .

it w
as like i borrow
ed skin from th
e air arou
nd me .

parts of m
y face were bei
ng stuck on by pins .

when i was you
ng , at the mo
vies , a boy plu
cked a feather fro
m the zippe
r of my je
ans .

he put the fe
ather in his tee
th . he put hi
s teeth in my he
ad .

i left the mov
ie . i became tha
t boy .

everything he t
hought i th
ought too .

in the mo
vie a wom
an was mur
dered on a ta
ble .

don’t cha
se after hi
m everyone sai
d  . eve

ryone s
ays the inter
ior is

the ex
terior . ev

eryone s
ays your bliste
r is mine .

if your friend s
ays feath
er you al
so mu
st mea
n feat
her .

the mot
ive must
h          ave be
en abou
t me
in the the
ater bathro
om where i wa
s every op
en stall do
or .

at the fron
t of a room be
ing toward

s and aw

ay . towards under

standing and again
st anal

ysis . i was not li
ke you .

i felt everyth
ing I’d hear
d of racing arou
nd in me .

i learn   ed th
e          mov
ie and its sound

track .

i wa
s frowning al
one in my ap
art        ment .

ng the moon be
gin to land .

feeling vertic
al withou
t des
ire . where thin

gs uprig

ht we
re flying

where thing
s collaps
ed we