SAFEST HUMAN
woke choking dying with some thing stuck
pointer down throat to fish the foreign out
rushed to the bathroom sink to rinse take
the faucet’s flawed offering woke
into the heart attack so tight it crunched there
welcome weakness welcome shock my pills
in one hand my pills in the other hand
no enchanted exit no sure sure
when did you drive your head through the door
bits of hair & scalp now adorn
black eye for a bloody nose broken arm
for a broken nose concussion for a concussion
the mouth when it yawned ripped open
the chin split down the middle by a tree
the phone torn from the wall every picture
torched she bleached herself to rid herself
the punch hurt no more than a punch
but the stone in the ring cut my arm baby river
to sit & watch the blood until the blood slows
until the wound has dried a friend lost the tip
of his ear in a fight he was rolling
on the asphalt with the other
when the other decided to bite a part of him
in my pocket later it reconnected
too much volume & my fist strikes my temple
strikes until the sound is no sound
as when a migraine is memory when
the head hits the wall another hurt
to drown out the aura a physical act of prayer
transporting oneself through the surface
seeing oneself to one side a blur
that marks is every surface
my lie he threw me against the ceiling
the truth he threw me against the wall
the bruises on my back the bruise in my skull
the feeling for half a second of flight
his hands around my neck my back
against the fridge his eyes squeezed to slits
no worse than the belt against my thighs
a few lashes in exchange how loud those welts
woke seeing a figure beside the bed
destroyed the lamp woke seeing a figure beside
the bed hurled myself against the wall
woke seeing a figure beside the bed leaped
to attack the iron upright on its board
woke seeing a figure beside the bed
woke choking dying with some thing stuck
my spleen in my clotted throat
the boy swung in circles by his arms
this boy knocked from another’s shoulders
that boy lifted & dropped head
abounce on the grassless field
Note: The poem’s title is from St. Augustine’s Confessions.